Let’s continue, shall we?
Tip 10 – Get the baby napping in their bassinet/crib sooner rather than later
I am not saying every single nap needs to be in your baby’s bassinet/crib because I know those baby cuddles are so precious and the newborn phase goes by SO quickly! But I highly encourage you to put your baby down for a nap when you can. This will allow some one-on-one time with your toddler without the “distraction” of the baby. With my 1st I definitely did way more contact naps, with your 2nd (and 3rd and 4th, etc) it just isn’t as realistic and that’s okay (it’s hard, but it’s okay).
Speaking of sleep, check out my blog post, “Baby Sleep Tips from a Mom of 3, with Twins“.
Tip 11 – Nap time/Quiet time for your Toddler
Once my twins were on a nap schedule (this happened after the newborn phase), it was my mission everyday to get all 3 kids napping at the same time. During the 1st year of my twins’ life, it was also a big transitional year for my toddler’s sleep. She ended up dropping her nap around 3.5 years old, which is a very typical age for a toddler to drop their nap. When this happened, I implemented quiet time for my toddler. This meant she was still staying in her room and had books to read, and other engaging activities to keep her occupied in a safe space. This allowed me to still have a moment to myself during the day, which is so so important.
Tip 12 – Having a Flexible but Established Schedule
Speaking of getting my twins onto a nap schedule. I am a big believer in having a daily schedule. I thrive off of having a routine, and so do toddlers, and so do babies. Your daily schedule will change over the 1st year, as babies go through a lot of sleep shifts in that 1st year (from 4 naps, to 3, to 2, to finally 1 long nap, which my twins just transitioned to at 15 months old), but I urge you to try your best to keep on top of these sleep changes because it will make your days run much smoother! When my toddler switched over to quiet time, I would shift when that quiet time happened so that it always coincided with the babies nap time.
Tip 13 – Get Outside
When possible (because I know it’s not easy) get outside! Fresh air does everyone good, including you! I try to include going outside as a daily activity in our house. It is so important for you to breathe in some fresh air, for your toddler to “run free” in nature, and it helps baby’s sleep better (or so “they” say lol)!
Tip 14 – One-On-One Time with your Toddler
When possible try to carve out some one-on-one time with your toddler. Even if it is just sitting together and reading a few books for 10 minutes. Adding a baby to the family is a huge shift for your toddler and they need to know they are still your “baby”. Give them all the love and attention you can (even if it is just 10 minutes a day) and this will help ease this huge transition for them.
Another quick piece of advice to go along with this, include your toddler in the baby’s day, even if it is simple tasks like grabbing a diaper or wipes for you, or putting the baby’s soother back in their mouth (my toddler got very good at this, as sometimes I would be nursing one baby and the other one would be crying in the swing because their soother fell out). Giving your toddler simple tasks like this will help your toddler feel important and also helps to establish a healthy sibling relationship from day one.
Tip 15 – Go to your Toddler First when Possible
I know it is hard to hear your baby cry, but unless it is an emergency situation, please remind yourself that it is okay for the baby to cry for a minute. Your toddler has the wherewithal to know if you always go to the baby first when they both need you and this can cause your toddler to feel resentment towards the baby. This is one of the hardest parts of having more than one child. You have to divide your time and attention between these little humans that you love so much! It may take a little bit for you to find your groove with this juggling act, but you will find it!
Tip 16 – Daycare
I completely understand if daycare expenses are not an option for you during maternity leave. But if you are able to find the funds, I highly recommend having your toddler in daycare. Even if it is part-time daycare. My toddler went to part-time daycare for the full 1st year of my twins life and it was a game changer for us. Daycare allows for your toddler to see friends their age and have time outside of your home. It gives them the space to have a norm outside of your baby filled home. The only other piece of advice with daycare though, please be wary of daycare germs with a newborn.
Tip 17 – Accept Help from Others (if you want to!)
If there are people in your life who are offering to help you, please accept the help. In the same breath, I also say, know when to rest and say no to visitors. Or! Rest when your visitors are there and they can watch your toddler and baby! There were many times when I said to someone helping out, “Do you mind if I go lay down for a bit, while the baby is sleeping (or content) and the toddler is occupied?”. This is why people come, to help you! Even if that means you aren’t visiting, but instead resting/sleeping, that’s why they are there, to help. Or at least that’s why they should be there, if that’s not why they are there, then kick them out… I kid, I kid, kind of.
Tip 18 – If your partner can take a leave from work, it is worth it for so many reasons.
Work will come and go but family is forever and these baby moments are so fleeting. If your partner can be home, even if that means pinching pennies for a bit, please consider it. Having your partner around to be with your toddler while you are busy with the baby is so beneficial! But also, having your partner home will give them that extra bonding time with your baby, which is so special and so important for them.
My final piece of advice – Please know there will be a transition period and that’s okay!
Lower your expectations of a clean home, embrace the mess and the chaos but also know it is completely normal to be overwhelmed and overstimulated by it all and that’s okay too. If you are really struggling with a constant feeling of overwhelm, overstimulation, and anxiety please reach out to family, friends, and a professional if needed, to help you through this very demanding period of motherhood.
Soak up those precious baby snuggles when you can (when your partner is home, or extended family or friends can help out with your toddler). Finally, please know and remind yourself during the hard days, it will get easier! I personally find that it gets much easier after the 1st year, and eventually your baby and toddler will actually start playing together and it will make your heart explode.
